Whose business are you minding?

In all sincerity, I realize that I get thrown off track in life A LOT, because I’m not doing one simple thing…minding my business.

Not in the being a nosey busy body kind of minding my business but, the “look at how great others appear to have it”, or “look how awesome they look”,  ORRRRR look “how well things are going for them”. You know, the oh-so common, “woe is me my life sucks their life is so great” type of not minding my business?

My question to you (and to me) today is: Whose business are you minding?

As people, we have the tendency to look at others and measure our lives by their life’s standard.

Believe me I spent my whole graduate career researching Leon Festinger’s “social comparison theory” and I’ve spent most of my life comparing myself to someone else. It happens. It’s common.  We do it more than we realize or care to admit.

We see how great things are for others and wonder: “Why am I the only one riding the ‘struggle bus’ ?!”

However, we seldom take into consideration that we are only privy to a portion of other’s lives. ONLY the portion, mind you that they often carefully, present to us. You know the picture perfect social media image we look at with jealous disgust? Yep. That one!

One of my new favorite quotes says:

Image

We look at the perfectly constructed image others share with us, compare our life to theirs, and struggle with UNNECESSARY insecurity and self-doubt.

Truth is, EVERYONE whether they will admit it or not, is riding their own “struggle bus”. Their struggle isn’t the same as yours BUT in some way they are dealing with something!

Comparison is a slippery slope. Constantly comparing ourselves to others is emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (and every other “lly”) taxing and detrimental.

We get ourselves in a LOT of trouble trying to be, do things, say things, buy things, or go places we were never intended, by God, to be, do, say, buy, or go. All because, we are comparing our walks with the walks of others.

The word of God tells us, clearly, that this process is unwise and ultimately leads us to behave unwisely.  2 Corinthians 10:12-13 (AMP)  says:

12 Not that we [have the audacity to] venture to class or [even to] compare ourselves with some who exalt and furnish testimonials for themselves! However, when they measure themselves with themselves and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding and behave unwisely.

13 We, on the other hand, will not boast beyond our legitimate province and proper limit, but will keep within the limits [of our commission which] God has allotted us as our measuring line and which reaches and includes even you.

Plain and simple, the interpretation in my head says that we should not compare ourselves to ANYONE point blank. Period.

We are who we are by God’s grace and  we should keep in the limits that God has allotted to us. We are to use  His standard as a measuring line. Not someone else’s. Often, not even ours but, HIS.

The challenge: Take a moment to “check yourself”. How many times have you compared yourself to someone else, today? Write it down and read it to yourself.

Think about…

Why you’re making these comparisons?

It’s almost a “sub conscious” reaction. Right?

How do we stop this?

Here’s my suggestion get a notebook! In it, make a list of  things the word of God says about you and what you should be.

Write down things you do well, goals you’ve accomplished, prayers that have been answered etc! Write down every great thing about you and your life. If you need to, solicit help!

Pray and ask God what he expects of you. Make a list of those things.

Begin comparing yourself to that measurement. If you see a need for change, set goals and work on improving yourself.

In times of self-doubt, insecurity, and seasons of feeling worthless, go back to that list!

In the coming hours, days, and weeks I will be praying that God would continue to reveal to me, and to you, what measuring line he desires us to compare ourselves to so that we may walk in both destiny and fulfillment.

Live it up,

Sass with Sensibility ❤

 

 

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The fulfillment of life

Lately I’ve been on a search to live a more fulfilled life. You know? I want to get up in the morning with purpose and to go to bed knowing that I have accomplished that purpose…or at least I’ve moved one step closer to it.

I want to hear the voice of the Lord more clearly and walk in his purpose fully (because fulfillment is found in Jesus right?).

I don’t want to spend time focusing on what I’ve lost, what I don’t have or, what I may be missing out on. I want to focus His plan for my life, right now.

Not too long ago I had a conversation with one of my friends Shannon. Typically, Shannon calls me at my office early in the morning because one, she knows I get to work at the crack of dawn and two, because she says, ” I want to hear your voice!”. These early am conversations are always full of laughter, complete randomness, and often, absolutely make my day.

This specific conversation was about getting back to using our talents and abilities to fulfill purpose and to live a more fulfilled live. She challenged me to list things that I am good and love to do. The list was to serve as the beginning of finding fulfillment.

When I thought of it, I spent my 28th birthday making a list of things I felt I needed to do this next year to bring about more fulfillment and “life”, in my life. I totally forgot about that list until now!

After some brainstorming, and petitioning of her help, I came up with this list:

  1. Teaching/Speaking
  2. Writing
  3.  Entertaining, Event Planning & Coordinating
  4. Prayer (specifically intercessory prayer)
  5. Now this one really doesn’t have a name lol but I am very resourceful. I can take whatever I have and typically make whatever I need out of it. I guess you’d call it being crafty?
  6. Traveling..Oh I can sure plan a great, inexpensive trip!
  7. Fashion, in respect to knowing what looks good together (typically lol) and dressing to fit ones body.
  8. Singing/Worshiping I’m not the best singer in the world by any stretch of the imagination LOL but I am a worshiper. I love love, love, a good worship service whether I’m leading it or singing from the congregation.
  9. This one doesn’t have a name either lol but, I am definitely a people person! It’s rare that I meet a stranger. I have an interesting ability to connect with people and to bring people who normally wouldn’t be together, together.

(the list will continue to grow but right now, this is what I’ve got)

Great a list…ummmm….Now how in the world do I use these to live a more fulfilled life?

That’s what I’m going to figure out! 🙂 My plan is to spend the coming weeks intentionally living in purpose.

Since this list is a mix of both the “spiritual” and the “natural”, I thought I’d start this journey to fulfillment by combining the two!

I will be spending the next couple of weeks blogging (and possibly vlogging), weekly (or more often) about this journey and sharing it with you! My plan is to include some random thoughts (that are often hilarious and inspired by my friend Wendy LOL), fashion posts, some real-life real-talk devotionals, a lot of sass, and even a little sensibility.

You’re more than welcome to join me! Subscribe to the blog and buckle up! This should be a fun ride!

Live it up,

Sass with Sensibility

Purpose